cigarette

It’s no secret that I love free market capitalism. I’ve actually become so fanatical in my dedication to capitalism that it has become sort of a religion to me.

Every night I kneel down and pray to a statue of Milton Friedman, which was made in China out of cheap and slightly toxic plastic.

One of my leftist leaning friends even went so far to..

As usual, I take a long pull from a bottle of cheap tequila, use it to swallow a handful of various calming medications, and manage to take a long, soothing drag on a cigarette before my wife yells at me, "What in the hell are you doing out there behind the garage?

Put down that  …